If you are looking for signs he’s not interested after the first date you have come to the right place. We have analyzed and then micro-analyzed potential signs for you so you can get a read on him better 😉
It’s natural to start thinking right after the first date – HE’S JUST NOT INTO ME – but that may or may not be really the case! It after all is pretty darn hard to know after just one first date whether he’s interested or not, we are not mind readers.
If the date went well, that could be a good sign, but is it the only sign? Here how to tell if a guy likes you after the first date are 11 signs that he’s just that keen!
You might also like: Super Fun Second Date Ideas (he case said man is in fact keen)
11 Signs he’s not interested after first date
Sign #1 He stood you up
I really don’t think you need to read any further if your date did not show up today. That is poor form my friend, really poor form.
Even if he got cold feet it is insanely rude. I personally would not want someone in my life like that as a friend let alone a partner. Don’t go on a second date even if he begs. He doesn’t respect you and it will never end well.
Sign #2 Your Date Ended Fast
One thing you might like to consider is whether or not your date ended rather errr abruptly. It is after all only your first date so if he is asking to leave after an entree because his cat is suddenly terminally ill that just might be the sign you are looking for girl!
Hint Hint, nudge nudge – he’s just not that into you!
I mean, his cat might really be very ill but chances are its that he is totally bored with your company and wants to make a swift escape without breaking your heart, if I must break it to you.
Sign #3 A wandering eye
If he spent a lot of time on the date with a wandering eye this is probably the sign you are looking for.
No, I don’t necessarily mean at the girl sitting at the table next to you but just that he is BORED AF and is checking out the paint color on the walls, wondering why the waitress doesn’t shave her armpits – you get the drift. A daydreaming lover is a no go zone. Sorry girls.
Sign #4 He spent the entire date glued to his phone
I don’t know what world you live in but if someone spends an entire first, second or even third date glued to their phone they are probably not all that keen – just sayin’
It might be perfectly acceptable for a married couple to ignore each other while they each tap away on their cells but not on a first meeting!
But in case you want to check just in case, you could send him a flirty text. If he doesn’t reply at this point, you will have your answer, well and truly, for. good.
Sign #5 He has not asked for another date
It might sound a bit old fashioned but the boy has gotta do some good old fashioned chasing here – Amirght? So if he hasn’t text you at this point in time and requested your presence for a second date, hate to say it but this is a sign he is not interested in you after first date.
Boys (most) know they are usually gotta be the ones to text first so he will do just that if he’s interested. I mean give the bloke a few days, he might be playing hard to get, but if he doesn’t text after that it is all over red over!
A guy who doesn’t text after first date is a no go zone – no exceptions.
You might also like: Rainy Day Date Ideas (who knows he might just call!)
Sign #6 No contact after first date
He might be shy (maybe) but this is a pretty big sign that he’s not all that interested. His body language in the form of his eyes are showing it. Maybe the poor kid just doesn’t know how to break it to you that you overdid the filters on IG and catfished him.
On an initial meeting, a big sign that someone likes you is if they are making eye contact with you. You can tell by this that they are present in the moment and really care what you have to say for yourself. Eye contact and maybe even a brush of the arm or touch of the back are clean tell-tales signs he is keen.
Sign #7 He spoke endlessly about his ex
If he spoke endlessly about his ex on the date, run girl run. This boy is definitely not over her! This should be seen by you as a massive red flag and a get out of jail free card. You got lucky.
While he may in fact be into you, he is not ready for another relationship as he is still in love with his ex and we all know how that is going to turn out – very very badly for you. Think broken heart and crushed dreams. This boy will go back to her at the drop of a hat so don’t go there. Abort mission.
Sign #8 He’s making excuses about the next date
If he’s too busy and already making excuses and putting off your next date. How do I put this lightly- he’s not interested in you! Sure, everyone is busy but if you are really interested do you seriously put off another date? That is not normal.
- See more: Signs he wants to marry you
Sign #9 He claims he just wants a casual relationship
If you met someone, got on like a house on fire and thought this could be your future husband or wife would you really seriously say “I’m not looking for anything serious?” I think not. Even if this was true before the date, you’d make an exception and not say anything to avoid losing the potential love of your life out of stupidity. Or is that just me?
Regardless, even if he is interested, he’s a f*** boy and no-one got time for that! But you can thank the kid for the heads up, he just saved you a whole lotta time.
Sign #10 He has not opened up to you
Okay, I don’t mean he has to open up about his deepest, darkest secrets but if he has not opened up and talked about say, how many siblings he has or given you any details about his personal life, it is probably a sign that he is not interested in you and not looking to pursue things further.
Sign #11 He’s a womaniser
If the man is just a flirt and you catch him on the gram commenting on other girls pictures after your date chances are hes really not that interested. That is he is more interested in talking with woman and perhaps doing other things than having a real relationship with you.
Cut him short now. Firstly, it is pretty disrespectful and 2. you just don’t need to take that chance – there are plenty more fish in the sea as the old saying goes. Sure, you might not be exclusive but if he really liked you, he wouldn’t bother being a online-player.
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So what do you think? If a guydoesn’t text after the first date is it a sign or am I just old fashioned and should we be going out there and texting him? Let me know in the comments below. If you want to give it another try, you could hit him up with some fun flirty questions.
More Dating and Relationship Tips?
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- Flirty Questions to ask a Girl
- Questions for Married Couples
- Would you Rather Questions for Couples
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- Is Tinder Worth it?
- Signs your ex is over you
FAQs
What are red flags after first date? ›
Other red flags include a date who is a bit too touchy and sexual right away, especially if you've made your physical and sexual boundaries clear in the beginning; someone who complains all the time during the date and is overly critical (especially of you); and someone who shows up late, doesn't inform you ahead of ...
How do guys act when they're not interested? ›Look out for body language cues that signal that he is uncomfortable or disinterested in your interactions. He may try to move away from you, cross his arms in front of him, or turn away from you while you are talking. He may also try to avoid physical contact, like a hug or you touching his arm, he is not interested.
Why do men go cold after first date? ›After the exciting initial dating phase is over, men sometimes pull away. The reasons: He might be not as interested or he might not really know where he stands. He's genuinely not sure how he feels and he doesn't want to lead you on by being too loving. Perhaps he's trying to take things slowly.
Why is he distant after first date? ›Guys mainly act distant when they are uncertain of their feelings or yours. Please don't give up when you notice a sudden change in his demeanor. Instead, make him trust you more by assuring him of your love. Let him know you value the relationship and hope you build it together.
How do you test if he is into me? ›- He is touching you. iStock. ...
- He remembers small details about you. ...
- You two are social media friends. ...
- He gives you eye contact. ...
- He makes an effort in the conversations you have. ...
- He's using “alpha” body language. ...
- He asks if you have a boyfriend. ...
- He gets jealous when you talk to other guys.
- He makes little effort to communicate.
- He becomes evasive – avoiding anything to do with you.
- He pushes you away when you want to get close.
- He doesn't show up when he promised.
- He can't be bothered to be 'nice'.
- He is mean to you.
- Let him know you had fun. To play it cool, or to not play it cool? ...
- Keep things warm, but don't overdo it. ...
- Build anticipation. ...
- Don't get locked in a needy mindset. ...
- Let him in gradually. ...
- Show you have more than one gear.
The bottom line is that ending a first date on a positive note by thanking this person for coming and meeting up with you is a simple gesture that can go a long way.
How do you know if there is chemistry on a first date? ›- Your Sense Of Humor Jives. ...
- You Can Sense Your Date's Perspective. ...
- Your Touches Match. ...
- You Want To Be Snuggly. ...
- Your Date Senses If Something Upsets You. ...
- Your Conversations Flow. ...
- Your Boundaries And Rules Break. ...
- You Try New Things.
- Observe their body language.
- They pay attention to you.
- Eye contact.
- They make time for you.
- They quickly apologize when they offend you.
- Jealousy.
- They don't say much.
- They are afraid.
What to do when he seems less interested? ›
- Focus on your own self-worth. ...
- Remind your partner why they were attracted to you from the start. ...
- Make an effort to understand your partner's needs. ...
- Communicate what you're feeling.
If a guy truly starts to ignore you, it's usually either because he is upset with you and needs you to give him space, he is losing interest, he feels like the relationship is moving too fast, he is playing games with you or trying to lead you on.
Why he acts interested and then disappears? ›There are several answers to why do guys disappear when they like you. It could be that he is scared of letting someone in, unsure of his feelings towards you, or doesn't think you are good enough for him. If you are in such a situation, you must prioritize yourself above everything else.
Why do guys act distant when they like you? ›He may think he is not in your league, you are with someone, want to keep his options open, and want you to approach him are the common reasons for acting distant. Men who do not want a serious relationship or are already committed can act distinctly to women they like.
Do guys start missing you later? ›When guys start to miss you after a breakup depends on the man and his relationship. For some men, it may take weeks, while for others, missing their ex doesn't start until months later. Nonetheless, guys start missing you when they realize how important you are or how much your absence affects their lives.
Why would a guy avoid a girl he likes? ›It's possible for guys to try to ignore his romantic or sexual feelings if he's shy, uncomfortable, unsure about them, can't handle his emotions, or he thinks things are moving too fast; however, it's more common for guys to try to pursue these feelings instead of avoiding them.
How do you know if he wants a second date? ›- He cared about you more than his drink. ...
- He's looked at you more than his phone. ...
- The sexual references were very limited. ...
- He made the effort to already plan for the future. ...
- There's never a break in conversation. ...
- It seems like he doesn't want to leave.
- They lean in.
- They tilt their head as you speak (a sign of engagement).
- They smile at you.
- They make eye contact with you.
- They reach out and touch your arm, hand, back, or leg.
He pays attention
If he likes you, he will pay attention and show interest in you. You will feel important and special. When someone is not attracted to you he will NOT make you feel noticed or important. If he is paying more attention to you than others around him, that is a sign that he likes you.
- Your thoughts return to them regularly. ...
- You feel safe with them. ...
- Life feels more exciting. ...
- You want to spend a lot of time together. ...
- You feel a little jealous of other people in their life.
How do you tell if someone is tired of you? ›
- He does not communicate with you. ...
- He is more self-centered. ...
- He takes advantage of you. ...
- He gets angry at your unexplainably. ...
- He ignores you. ...
- He doesn't respect you any longer. ...
- He doesn't apologize after an incident. ...
- He doesn't want you meddling in his affairs.
- A deep sense of disconnection. ...
- You're always initiating conversations. ...
- He tells you directly. ...
- He ignores texts/calls from you. ...
- Lack of vulnerability (from his end) ...
- Lack of sexual intimacy. ...
- He doesn't desire to be physically around you. ...
- You're excluded from his activities.
Give it a few days (or even a week).
It might feel tough waiting for him to text you, but your crush might truly be busy and unable to respond to your messages right away. Waiting 2–3 days or up to a week before reaching out gives him a chance to text you first once he realizes what he's missing.
- Go text crazy. ...
- Over analyse. ...
- Add them on Facebook, follow them on Twitter, pin to their Pinterest board… ...
- Tell yourself you'll be single forever. ...
- Act like you're in a relationship. ...
- Cut off all contact with other matches. ...
- Tell your friends & family you've met The One. ...
- Play games.
The final stage is engagement and blissful love. This is where you ultimately decide to pledge a lifelong commitment to your partner and take things to the next level. This level of commitment comes with working together to plan a happy and fruitful future with each other.
How do you know if a date went well with a guy? ›- You Shared A Lot Of Laughs.
- Easy Conversation.
- Eyes Locked And Loaded.
- The Date Went On For Longer Than Expected. ...
- There Were No Awkward Pauses. ...
- You Both Clicked. ...
- They Called You After The Date.
- You Got To Know Each Other.
Key points. The first rule of dating is to make sure that the other person is actually available. Physically available doesn't necessarily mean romantically available. A person may not be available for various reasons—hung up on someone else, on a substances, or even on a fear.
How many dates to see if there is chemistry? ›Three dates is a good rule of thumb.
This isn't a hard and fast rule, but let's say you spend two to three hours together on each date, with some emailing, texting, or phone time in between. That's a pretty fair amount of time together. If you're not feeling any sense of chemistry or attachment, it's OK to give up.
A good first date should let you get to know each other without forcing awkward conversation. Taking in a comedy show, visiting a museum, or getting active can help you find some common ground. Try something new together to create space for vulnerability and set the stage for a strong bond.
How do you tell if there is a spark on a date? ›- The spark can feel like a body high. Giphy. ...
- You are urgently curious to get to know one another. Giphy. ...
- You and your date share plenty of eye contact. Giphy. ...
- You feel a rush of energy. Giphy. ...
- You're a little nervous and can't think straight. Giphy.
What makes a man hide his feelings? ›
Men often feel that they need to be self-reliant and provide for their loved ones, so it is not appropriate to express their emotions. This behaviour can be reinforced in the stereotype of the heroic male, so often represented in popular culture.
Do guys tend to hide their feelings? ›Men are often hesitant to express their true emotions, which can lead to serious issues in their lives. They may be viewed as cold or distant. They can even develop mental health issues when attempting to suppress how they truly feel. There are a number of reasons why men hide their feelings.
How do you know if a guy is confused about his feelings? ›When a man is confused about his feelings, his behavior might be erratic. He might make you feel desired and give you all his attention during the 'hot' phase. Then he may pull away just like that and act cold when he feels like he's catching feelings for you.
How do you know a guy is slowly losing interest? ›If he has stopped bothering about his looks/personality, doesn't care about his behavior, or has stopped making an effort to be romantic, he probably is losing interest. You may feel that he has stopped trying to impress you, making romantic gestures, and being curious about the things in your life.
How do I get him to show more interest? ›- Go on regular dates. ...
- Spend time by yourself. ...
- Go back to where you had your first date. ...
- Focus on communication. ...
- Laugh together. ...
- Get away together. ...
- Try to understand each other. ...
- Listen to Them.
Show genuine interest in him to put him at ease.
If you told someone you weren't interested in them and then you start to like them, start up a conversation and ask questions about how he's been. That way, he'll feel like you really care, which may make him start thinking about you again.
If the person you went on a date with doesn't make the first move within 24 to 48 hours after the first date, they're probably just not that into you. Maybe your personalities didn't click, or there wasn't a strong romantic connection.
When he goes quiet after first date? ›Although you may have really liked him and felt the chemistry, it is possible he didn't feel the same way and you misread or overlooked signals. Many guys report they didn't find a woman attractive due to the way she looked, the way she acted, or things that were said on that first date that turned them off.
How long does it take for a guy to miss you after a date? ›So, a few weeks to two months is the answer to the question, “How long does it take for a guy to miss you?” Typically, men realize what they lost when they can't find a woman with their personality. By then, they learn not all women are the same, and they shouldn't have broken off the relationship.
Should I text him if I haven't heard from him in 2 days? ›Give it a few days (or even a week).
Waiting 2–3 days or up to a week before reaching out gives him a chance to text you first once he realizes what he's missing. If you've waited more than a week and still haven't heard back from him, it might be time to move on.
Is two days ghosting? ›
While every relationship is different, three days is enough time to consider yourself ghosted. Sure, everyone has emergencies or can come up with a valid excuse for not responding, but letting things linger for three days or longer is enough to categorise it as a ghosted situation.
Why do guys act distant after a date? ›He may think he is not in your league, you are with someone, want to keep his options open, and want you to approach him are the common reasons for acting distant. Men who do not want a serious relationship or are already committed can act distinctly to women they like.
What causes a man to go silent? ›Many guys hate failing and feeling inadequate. They often don't have the speed of words to compete with their partner in a conflict. Men's emotional processing capacity is often much slower than their partner. Whilst being silent is a sign of a man's need to process it is also a way to avoid the feelings of defeat.
Does no contact make him miss you? ›Does no contact make him miss you? Yes! One of the best ways to use silence after a breakup is to cut off all means of communication. That includes going silent on social media after a breakup.
How long before he misses me with no contact? ›Today I'm going to show you the eight definitive signs that a man is missing you during a no contact rule. Usually this period of time lasts anywhere between 21-45 days. Of course, for many of our clients are left wondering how they can tell if it is even working.
What to do when he reaches out after ignoring you? ›- Find out why he ignored you in the first place. ...
- Consider your feelings. ...
- Do not respond to his text immediately. ...
- Deal with your insecurities. ...
- Be sure he is not breadcrumbing you. ...
- Demand an explanation. ...
- Set boundaries and let him know your stance.